Fear Is A Liar : Listening to Your Inner Voice
This post has been a long time coming. Likely years of feeling something inside of me was broken and lost. I built walls thinking they would help. They did the exact opposite and pushed my emotions in to a dark place - sometimes I would look at the man in the mirror and ask who am I? Like really who is this man you see on the outside but feels so broken inside?
These walls caused anger and rage. Little joy found in the daily routine. Saturdays and Sundays were a constant catch up from the previous work week. I dreaded Mondays. And around and around this cycle repeated. I thought maybe these feelings were because my faith was too small. That the God I believed in didn’t have bigger plans. That this cycle was a normal part of life and there was nothing that could be done to course correct.
Lost and Surrounded by Faith
About a year ago, I attended a conference and was listening to the speaker, Eric Worre, who was challenging everyone in the audience to find their inner roar. I know a bit cheesy. But, I allowed him to keep going and looked at the person on each side of me. By this time, my eyes began to well up and I turned my head just enough to believe my wife didn’t see. Where had my inner roar gone? And in the audience amidst 30,000 other conference attendees I let it out. I started listening to the inner voice. I started listening to what the Universe, what my God was telling me about the path I was on. Because, to me that path felt narrow and dark the farther I went down it.
Coming home from Young Living’s International Grand Convention, I started to become more active in my relationship as a husband. Making my best attempts at being more humble and gentle. Less fearful and less resistant to my inner risk averse self.
Finding My Roar
Around Christmas 2018, this feeling of a desire to hone my inner roar was growing. Deep in my gut it was pushing through. I was at the bookstore, perusing the bargain aisle, and it was like the Universe spoke as I picked up a book by viral sensation, Chewbacca Mom (y’all saw the video of her laughing, trust me) Candance Payne - “Laugh It Up! Embrace Freedom and Experience Defiant Joy.”
I immediately threw myself into that book learning about someone who reconnected with Joy and embraced the life she’d been given. For some reason, I had allowed myself to falsely believe that I wasn’t worthy of the life I had only dreamed of and became convinced that the life I have is as good as it gets.
Several months go by and I continue to process these feelings. And for a man these feelings are very raw. They almost feel unnatural when you’re sitting in church and start welling up during a worship song. Suddenly these feelings give meaning to life.
Facing Fear Head On
The more these feelings came up the harder I had to mentally work to discern them. What does changing the current path mean? Where is the risk involved? Is this just on-a-whim thinking or does it mean something bigger? The more I pushed back on these feelings, the stronger they became.
Defining Your Why
I started to dig into my why. Why do I have these feelings? If I change paths what is the why that will be driving me to move forward? I was on a leadership call and the topic of defining your why came up.
It was there that I learned to truly define your why, you need to look 5-7 layers deep to understand the underlying truth one’s heart might designer. At each answer ask why again to drill down the core.
The example given was the following:
I want to quit my job. Why?
To stay home with my kids. But, Why?
To take them to school. But, why do you have to quit your job?
So they know they’re loved. But, can’t they already see your love?
Yes, but I want to quit my job so we can travel as a family? But why?
Because I don’t want to miss out on the years with them.
At the end of the day, this person’s why was they wanted to quit their job because they didn’t want to miss out on all the experiences together with their children.
Fear Doesn’t Stand a Chance
It’s your choice, you can either sit in fear or lean into your emotions and get comfortable. While it might be scary to push through the unknown, opportunity is waiting right around the corner. You are worthy of your dreams coming true. You are worthy of thoughtful and meaningful relationships. You were made worthy of this life.
I’ve personal made an intentional decision, along with the daily use of Valor to push through the fear. While it may require some deep breathing, determination and focus, there is hope. Forget the what-ifs and unknown.
Fear is a Liar
Fear paralyzes indecision. It causes us to stay stuck in our current situation instead of pushing forward with what we know we’re capable of. Giving into fear crushes the hope we long for. Giving into fear fuels the anger inside that breaks down relationships and wears them paper thin. Fear builds walls, while hope breaks them down.
Opportunity is Life’s Reward
Opportunity is Life’s Reward (OILR) has become a personal motto lately. While the saying itself isn’t my own, I stand behind what it means on a deeper level.
What if instead of giving into fear we had hope, knowing that hope brings forth life? There is opportunity in all things.
Maybe it’s having that conversation in your head that feels awkward? Maybe it’s writing a blog post that shows your true feelings? Every decision we make has tremendous opportunity to impact our life and the lives of those around us.
The only thing that stands in your way is you’re willingness to listen and act on that opportunity.
Listening to Your Voice
In your own time of struggle, find your inner voice and listen to your intuition. Our brain, heart, and gut must be our guide. If you can’t shake the feeling of your inner voice, we must look around the corner to see what it means.
Maybe the inner voice is telling you to make a career change. Maybe it’s telling you to go on a Mission trip or serve your community in some way. Maybe it’s telling you to go through the foster program and give a child a home. No matter what that inner voice is saying, it’s our job to listen to it and use it as a map for the path ahead. We will never know where it leads if we don’t take the first step to stop and listen. Only once we listen to our voice, can we begin to act.
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